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11-28-07
AT LAST! NO BLOOD!
Sorry it took so long to take down the Halloween theme. Now we're back to good ol' green. I have nothing
further to say. Good day to you, fine Merr people. Oh. And buttsex.
- Karma
9-18-07
IT'S ONLY A MOVIE....
In time for the horror holiday season, here are some of my personal favorite scare fests for the DVD player. I've found myself becoming a bigger fan of Horror films over the years and, truthfully, I don't know why. But I love them. And while most of that love comes from the guilty pleasure of cheesy gore fests, I find that many of these films are completely under-rated by the general masses. Most of the classic films on this list have been remade one or five times. Be sure to check out the originals. In every case, they are MUCH better.
THE DESCENT
Director: Neil Marshall
There are monsters in it, but they come at the end and, really...they're not needed. It's supsenseful enough without them. The film is about a group of thrill seeking women who spelunk in an uncharted cave in the Apalachian Mountains. The film gives you a true sense of claustraphobia. Get the Unrated cut. It has the better European ending. The US Theatrical cut has an altered ending that doesn't make much sense.
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1969)
Director: George A. Romero
I'm sure anyone who's even vaguely framiliar with Horror films has heard of this classic. It still stands up today. One of the few movies I've seen that left me chilled after watching it. The dead come to life and start eating the flesh of the living. The film follows a group of people trying to survive through the night in an old country house. This film redefined the Zombie for decades to come.
HALLOWEEN (1978)
Director: John Carpenter
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasence
If you ever watch this, please try to do your best to erase all of the eighties slasher films completely out of your mind. This movie established things that were copied so much that it makes it hard to see how groundbreaking it actually is. And forget about any relationship Michael Meyers has to the victim, cuz it's not there. That was added in the second one just to have a reason for there to be a second one. It's not really supposed to matter WHO Michael Meyers is. Just that he is. An unstoppable evil boogey man on a journey back to his home town to kill.
ALIEN
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Sigourney Weaver
The original Alien is pure suspense and it follows the great rule of "less is more". It is another film that, when watched late at night with the lights off, will make you grab your knees and hide under the cover. The crew of an intersteller space ship on it's way back to Earth investigates a distress signal from a barren planet. They find a dangerous alien that threatens to destroy them all.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
Director: Jonathan Demme
Starring: Jodi Foster, Anthony Hopkins
This is the only one out of all those Hannibal films that's worth a shit, in my opinion. Jodi Foster plays an FBI agent in training who is sent to interview the captured serial killer Hannibal Lector for insight into the dealings of another killer currently on the loose. This movie won lots of oscars (including Best Picture), which is rare for a film of this type. It truly is one of the greatest horror/psychological thrillers ever made.
THE FLY (1986)
Director: David Cronenberg
Starring: Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis
Ok. Up top where I said the remakes are all crap? Disregard that for this film and the next one. These two are remakes that far excede the originals. This version of the Fly was directed by David Cronenberg and is really, really gory. It's about a man who is working on a device that could teleport a person from one pod to another. Things go awry when a fly is trapped with him and he is merged with it in the process.
THE THING (1982)
Director: John Carpenter
Starring: Kurt Russell
The second remake on this list that makes the cut is John Carpenter's The Thing. It's the story of a science crew in Antartica who stumble on a dormant alien who crashed on Earth thousands of years ago. It can replicate any life form and spawn itself millions of times over. They quickly discover that keeping it from reaching civilization is the only way to save humanity, know matter what the cost. This film is well known for it's really amazing monster effects that still hold up by todays standards. And it's creepy as hell to boot.
THE WICKER MAN (1973)
Director: Robin Hardy
Starring: Christopher Lee, Edward Woodward
If you watched the recent Nicholas Cage remake, I'm truly sorry. What a horrible mess that is. The original film is very superior. It's roughly the same story, only it's set on the British island of Summerisle. A detective is sent to the island looking for a missing girl. What he finds is a island full of pagans. Their beliefs clash fully with his very strong Christian beliefs. What follows is a maze of trickery that leads him to his ultimate destiny. There are some musical numbers that some may find cheesy, but this film really packs a punch in a way that doesn't come often from the cinema.
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
Director: George A. Romero
Starring: Ken Foree
The remake of Dawn of the Dead isn't bad, especially from an action film standpoint. But it in no way resembles the original classic. Well, there's a mall. And zombies. But that's about it. The original is more about the four people who have fled the madness of a world falling in on top of itself after the dead have risen from the grave. They settle in a shopping mall and find that there truly is no escape from what humanity is becoming in a world full of flesh eating zombies. This really is a must see, regardless if you like horror or not.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974)
Director: Tobe Hooper
The extreme low budget of the film adds to the horror. The grainyness makes you feel like you're watching a home movie made by one of the victims. The dinner scene is one of the most disturbing things put to film. The movie is about a group of teenagers who are checking to see if their grandfather's grave has been disturbed after hearing reports of grave robbing in the area. They encounter one of horror's most gruesome icons, Leatherface. The remake has nothing on this early seventies classic.
EVIL DEAD II
Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Bruce Cambell
The original is a classic. The thid film is a cult favorite. But to me, the one Evil Dead movie that stands out the most is the second film. It's essentially a remake of the first film, only with a slightly bigger budget and more humor. The Book Of The Dead (Necronomicon) unleashes a evil spirit in and around the cabin where Ash and his girlfriend are staying for the weekend. That's about it as far as plot goes. The rest is a visual feast of horror.
THE OMEN (1976)
Director: Richard Donner
Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick
You know what the problem with the recent remake is? The kid LOOKS evil. One look at him and you KNOW he's the Anitchrist! The point is, he's not supposed to look evil. This kid is supposed to blend in and look as normal and innocent as any other kid. Ahhh. That's one of many things that modern film makers forget when trying to make these movies. This one is especially great because it's so out of type for Gregory Peck. He plays a man of high stature who replaces his still born son with a newborn orphan before his wife becomes aware of their tragedy. However, the orphaned baby he adopts turns out to be the son of the devil.
ROSEMARY'S BABY
Director: Roman Polanski
Starring: Mia Farrow
I tried to get my wife to watch this one while she was pregnant. Ha. The movie is another film about the antichrist. Rosemary is a woman who has just moved into a new apartment with her husband in Manhatten. She soons becomes pregnant, but has a feeling that what is growing inside her isn't all that human. Is she going crazy? Is it real? That's the question you'll keep asking yourself all the way to the shocking end.
THE SHINING
Director: Stanley Kubrick
Starring: Jack Nicholson
So Steven King wasn't all that happy with the liberties Kubrick made when adapting his book into this 1980 classic. Maybe it doesn't exactly follow the book. But, this is one of those few times where that just doesn't matter. The atmosphere in this movie is the kind of thing all other filmmakers dream to create but will never come close. I was 20 when I first watched this one and it scared the hell out of me. Of course, I was all alone late at night with the lights off. But still! No need to describe the plot. Watch this just for the frightening mood.
SEVEN
Director: David Fincher
Starring: Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt
Probably the most derpressing thriller ever made. The film follows a detective on the verge of retiring and a new detective on the block as they work a case that involves a killer who bases his crimes on the seven deadly sins as described in Dante's Purgatory.
That's all! Other movies that are worth mentioning are SHAUN OF THE DEAD, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, SCREAM, RE-ANIMATOR, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, and THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. I hope somebody found this guide helpful when choosing what movies they wanna be spooked by this Halloween season.
- Karma
8-5-07
MORE WEIRD IMAGES
Here's another one. Hope you like it.
OK. Not really. I don't care one way or another.
CLICK FOR WEIRD IMAGES 002
- Karma
7-25-07
WEIRD IMAGES
So I've saved pretty much every random weird strange funny jpeg or gif I've ever come across over the last five or six years in
a handful of folders. A rough count brings me to about 10,000 pics. Some are funny. Some are kinda dumb. Some are outright nasty.
Some are broken. Some contain *gasp* nudity. These last few years most come from a weekly thread on the Bendis board called, appropriately enough, Weird Images.
Anyway, the point I'm getting at is that at long last I've decided to share. Over the course of the next several months I'll be
uploading all 22 folders containing these images. There's roughyly 400 pics per folder. They're all in zip files. And they're sure to bring hours of enjoyment to an otherwise dull day. Thank you for your time and attention.
CLICK FOR WEIRD IMAGES 001
- Karma
7-4-07
HURM
I wonder if anyone still looks at this page. I've taken
forever to update it. It was last updated in February. Time is becoming less and less
available to me. And even when I had time, I had no idea what to do
on this page. But I'm going to try to think of something. It just sits here. All alone.
Crying in the corner. Getting no attention. *pets front page* Things will be better soon.
Meanwhile, take a look at this random image.
- Karma
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